It is amazing to look back over the past three years and see all the changes that has transpired in my life. You never know how life will throw you a few curves over the course of your lifespan. I guess we are not meant to be fortune tellers, perhaps that is best?
I won’t go into details here but it is safe to say that three years ago I was living a different life. Then everything changed. I am sure everyone goes through earthquake type events that shake there foundations to the core. I never have until this fateful point in my life.
Since those dark events came about, I have tried to rebuild me. I did this by remodeling my apartment, I am not finished yet but 75% is a lot farther than it was. These past couple of years has also seen the largest, most successful growth my business has ever had, for that I am blessed. There is also the pandemic that has shaken the globe as it has shaken me. Although I play it off, as if I do not give it two seconds thought throughout the day, but I do. I have also seen my company change dramatically over this period. In ways I never imagined. I also bought a house, another change that was not planned, but I have plans for this that will involve my art. My art is also an important part of my survival tactic.
My personality has thus taken a dramatic change, I am now more private, live a quieter life and rarely seek out social or personal companionship. I guess I have become an island upon my self. Sometime I feel as though the world has beaten me, but I know that is not true. It has remolded my spirit, realigned me, fractured as I was, I have mended myself through distractions that I aforementioned. I sometimes feel as if I was a Phoenix, yet I know I am of no way that grandiose. I am simply a survivor, I know I will never be truly whole again.
So I pour myself into projects, seek distractions and stay busy as possible. Dare I look back at my failures, mistakes and my disappointments that haunt me in my every waking moment of everyday. Maybe you are reading this and perhaps you understand?
As the saying goes, ‘when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.’ I have never been a true lemonade lover. But I keep mixing it all the same.