It wasn’t a long pondering moment at all, it is the same old thing that stops most forward motion in my life, depression. This illness I have suffered from all my life usually only last a short time then I am right back into my energetic self in a month or maybe two. This last bout ended about the middle of December but started why back in the middle of August and I am just now starting to piece my life back together, to get things back in order, like writing, playing, working on hobbies and enjoining my work.
Usually when I am depressed I just watch television, eat and sleep, anything but be productive, I know what is happening to me but I just can’t get things started. I find no energy to move, just avoid everything I can. It is like being in a waking dream that you don’t want to wake from as if you are cocooned in a somber mood, a safe place yet a place that offers nothing but sadness.
I also conceal my depression very well from my friends and family, I put a good front up but the tell-tale signs are there none the less. A short temper, loss of focus and slow to motivate, I function but not on all cylinders.
So I will try a bit harder to get on line and get things off my chest more often. Like this!